Nicole. 18. New York City.

thalassiq:

looking for: someone with a lot of money whose parents are nagging them to get married but they dont want that kind of emotional commitment. i will be your spouse and you can cheat on me whenever you want i dont even care. you can have an orgy in our bedroom. just leave me your credit card and buy me a corvette. i feel like this is a fair transaction.

(via shakinghandswithsatan)

Notes
2895
Posted
8 hours ago

u deserve a nice boy who texts u back and buys u tacos and doesn’t kiss other girls behind ur back and who makes u laugh and thinks ur funny

(Source: officialbeyonceknowles, via andreaxdreams)

Notes
49193
Posted
8 hours ago
Anonymous asked: why yalls garlic bread so nasty


Answer:

olivegarden:

What the fuck. What thef. Uck. You come on here, you come into my house, you take a shit on my post you shit on garlic bread, you shit on everything I stand for, on this, the day of my daughter’s wedding… .

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19831
Posted
8 hours ago
typac:

u rich as fuck go buy a boat or somethin

typac:

u rich as fuck go buy a boat or somethin

(via youtwitt)

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226314
Posted
16 hours ago

wild-n-free-n-stuff:

Do you ever put on an outfit and then think “wow this would look so much nicer if I wasn’t such a fat piece of shit” because same

(via flairforthehopeless)

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73252
Posted
16 hours ago

beautyyytime:

Why one eyebrow always comin out Gucci and the other eyebrow comin out Walmart

(via uptonobueno)

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47239
Posted
16 hours ago

yzma:

the chicken from season 1 is more important than larry

(via uptonobueno)

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154421
Posted
17 hours ago

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

(via not-an-angel)

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105414
Posted
1 day ago

undersensitive:

i hate this website everyone’s hotter than me wtf

(Source: co-ver, via pizza)

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283088
Posted
1 day ago

shorten:

"how are you feeling?"

image

(via hi)

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37310
Posted
1 day ago

cloudpuppy:

do u wanna take a bath together and give each other bubble beards

(Source: taurusgirl13, via alejandrothenotsogr8)

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257975
Posted
1 day ago

wtfnah:

dadsofficial:

So apparently it’s a turnoff to yodel during sex?

outrageous

(via teachyoursoultosee)

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9965
Posted
1 day ago

its-tuesday-again:

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH STRAIGHT BOYS

(via not-an-angel)

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147456
Posted
1 day ago
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