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looking for a boy taller than 5’8 who will take me to parties and punch other boys for me 

(via kriisttoff)

23,786 notes


i hate myself a lot but i get offended when other people do

(Source: ouijasquiji, via hi)

248,603 notes


how to give a handjob:

1. grab boner mid-shaft

2. pump until confetti is released

3. party

(via ambitiousloudfunnyme)

82,139 notes


mom that cigarette pack you found in my bag??? its a metaphor

(via ryuko-tho)

43,196 notes


White people think they so slick using different ways to say nigga. You better not call me your Nig, your N-word, matter fact I better not caught you calling me anything with a N in it. Don’t even call me your neighbor 

(via ambitiousloudfunnyme)

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nothing annoys me more than when teachers say “now i want you to work with someone you don’t normally talk to” because not only am i soul crushingly self conscious but there is a REASON I DON’T TALK TO THESE PEOPLE

(Source: roastedparsnips, via rebelliouscake)

103,533 notes


when you hear everyone flipping the test page over but you’re still on question 2


(Source: lindsaylohangmyself, via i-cant-even-like-stop)

468,907 notes
What happens when teens are home alone
  • According to social media: wild and crazy party time!
  • Me: fuck yeah I can take my headphones off
168,616 notes


*accidentally calls a teacher “bae”*

(Source: guopei, via i-cant-even-like-stop)

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bee movie is rated pg for parental guidance

(via caseyanthonyofficial)


if i can see u typing a message for like 2 minutes and im waiting there in agony and it ends up just being “lol” i will never talk to u again

(via pizza)

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